Why It's Not OK

The unthinkable has happened. I was sure, many months ago when there were double digits of candidates in this race, that Hillary Clinton was our next president. I hadn’t even decided who I may vote for or who I wanted our next president to be, but I felt sure it was her race to win. She’s been preparing for this for a very long time. She has experience. And it’s time in our history to show that we can have a woman in the white house. I thought. 

And now this.

The Trump campaign was worse than a train wreck. It was a train wreck that caused your house to burn down. For those of us who are victims of rape or sexual assault, we were horrified at his comments and at the allegations that have come forth from so many women. For many people in this country and all over the world, his words of hate, his promises of separation and violence, it was just shock and terror followed by more shock and terror. 

Hillary won my vote not just because of her agenda, which I support much of, but also for her poise, her experience, her strength, and her values. But that's not what this post is about. 

If you have republican values, I respect that. We all have a right to what we support politically. I’m not saying you’re wrong. But you should have admitted defeat in this race when Trump was given the nomination. He was not the right republican candidate, he is not a man fit to lead this nation in beliefs, in words, or in temperament. It was optimistic of you to think that a vote for him represented your republican priorities when a vote for him represented hate. We have elected hate to the white house. 

He is 100% made up of hate. 

In a news-minded group I’m part of online, a lot of the quiet Trump voters have come out to say, “Finally! After 8 years! We’ve been waiting and now we have our chance! Oh yeah, and I’m not a racist, sexist, bigot.”

You should have waited four more for an actually qualified, prepared, and deserving candidate. I’m sure that would have been a hard sacrifice to make, but it would have been the right choice. 

A friend of mine texted me a month or so ago and said, “you should write a blog post about how you’re in the entertainment industry and have never been grabbed by the —" I wrote back, "I can’t write that, it’s not true.” That did happen to me, exactly that, by a stranger, who when I said “What are you doing!? No!” replied “Give it a minute, you’ll like it.”


That wasn’t the first time I was sexually assaulted either. I speak for many of the women in my life as well who are survivors of sexual assault (more of us than not) that this morning we feel like victims rather than survivors. Many of us feel like our country just said it was ok, those horrible things that happened to us, and that we’re crazy for thinking otherwise. Which is exactly the mentality that had me not speak up about what happened to me the first time at 18.

This morning I woke up and my country has made me feel like a victim instead of a survivor. You are not behind me. You have not strengthened me or lifted me up or stood with me. 

I’m not alone either. Katie shared a post this morning that included this passage: 

"I voted for a candidate who I think was more than qualified to be president, but most importantly I voted for a candidate who respects me as a person. You did not. You voted for a candidate who sent me personally, and thousands of other women, into a frenzy last night. Reliving their own nightmares of sexual assault over and over again tossing and turning in bed, hunched over the toilet vomiting and sobbing on the floor. I thought I meant more to you than this? Don't I mean more to you than this?"

I respect your republican values. Some of them I agree with. If you are not a racist, sexist, bigot made up of hate then you should have considered your race lost after the primaries.

My friend DJ shared a lovely post following the results that said, "I love and respect so many of you who wanted this and I beseech you to spend the next four years showing those of us who didn't that it wasn't about misogyny, racism, xenophobia and fear. I love this country and I don't want to leave.Show us how the kind of rhetoric that has been pervasive throughout this campaign can lead to understanding and respect and I promise to listen." 

I am very doubtful that this man will accomplish a successful, positive agenda as president. I am very doubtful his presidency will lift me up as a woman, as a business owner, and likely as a mother too during this presidency. I am doubtful he will do good things for our place in the world, evidenced already in the hours since the results. (To the rest of the world: this does not define us! Not all of us chose this!) 

But, as DJ will, I will listen. I urge you, America, and world, to show us that love is still the driving force for how we treat each other. That equality is something we’re continually striving for, fighting for, standing for. No walls. No violence. 

Despite the bleak outlook this morning, I pray that no matter who our president is, love still trumps hate.