Self-Love Setup

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Are you a self-love skeptic, or still trying to understand how to reach a better place in your own self-love journey?  Whether you need a self-love setup or a self-love step up, here are 5 keys to finding happiness within:

1. Understand Yourself.

First you have to know yourself to like yourself.  Seek to understand the way you function, your greatest needs, how you process things, and what fuels you (aside from coffee).  A personal favorite is the Myers-Briggs personality test.  The Five Love Languages is another good one.  There are so many, though you can bypass "which 90's rock band are you" on buzzfeed.  

2. Improve Your Relationships.

Nate Bagley traveled the country interviewing couples - all kinds of couples - in happy, long-term relationships, and he discovered that the number one most common factor given credit by the couples was self love. He says, "The happiest couples always consisted of two (sometimes more) emotionally healthy and independently happy individuals. These people practiced self-love. They treated themselves with the same type of care that they treated their partner... or at least they tried to."  Find out what else Nate discovered here!

3. Get specific.

In the spirit of self-love, take a few minutes today to do this writing exercise.  Get out a pen and paper - yes, a pen with ink, not your iPad and list 5-10 unique qualities of your personality.  But don't stop there.  Add to each how that quality is unique to you and why you love it so much.

For example, "I'm creative" is great and all, but quite a lot of us are creative.  What makes your creativity something to be celebrated?  Write it down.  

4. Plan a Solo Soujourn.

Whether it's a weekend getaway or an epic European adventure, plan a trip just for yourself.  Go somewhere you've never been.  See things you don't normally see.  Do things you don't normally do.  And for heaven's sake, don't share a live feed of your every move on social media.  (If you must share, at least wait till you're home to upload the photos and reminisce about your trip!)  Here's a great article on why a solo self-discovery trip is a bucket list must.

5. Transform Your Fear.

A sufferer of anxiety, I wrestle fear in regards to specific areas of my life.  Fear can be gripping, debilitating, and devastating.  It can ruin an hour or a day or days of my life.  It's an enemy that changes forms just as soon as I've vanquished it in one form.  I'm going to post these 10 things somewhere I can see them regularly: 10 ways mindfulness turns fear into an ally.  My favorite line from the article says, "where fear blocks out love, love holds fear tenderly."

Also worth a read is are these 4 ways to make fear your friend from remarkable woman ClaudiaChan.com.