Good Grief

grief

There is so much sadness in the world.  We all find ourselves facing grief throughout our lives. Losing loved ones, losing love, losing jobs and friends and dreams and homes and sometimes just our way.  But grief isn't all bad.  Sure, it feels all bad, but I believe in what Elizabeth Gilbert said:

"Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing..."

During those trying times, if you are pushing yourself forward, you're growing and learning more than you can know.  Grief causes us to seek: new hobbies, new friends, new challenges, a closer relationship to God, a different perspective.  At least it should.  Creating new experiences is like putting stones across a pond on which to jump.  Step by step, you can move from one side to the other.

"If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then grief is the door." -Dexter

About two years ago, I'd been dating a guy that had worked hard to earn my trust.  Almost as soon as he did, he betrayed it.  I was hurt and confused.  One morning I lay in bed, half-asleep and half-awake (this is where I think God speaks to me most clearly) and suddenly I had a vision of a tree.  Thick trunked and strong, with high golden leaves.  I somehow knew that the leaves were my pain.  Oh, I wanted those leaves gone!  I jumped at the branches, but I couldn't reach them.  I tried to shake the tree, but it wouldn't sway.  I hurled my body at the trunk of the tree to no avail.  Finally, I slumped to the ground in defeat.  Then God said to me, "Give it time.  They will fall.  It is inevitable."

This awake/asleep dream is one of the most beautiful gifts God has ever given me.  Every day is one day closer to better.  Every day another leaf falls.  Keep breathing.  Someday the pain will seem so small compared with what you carry forward.

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
- Tom Stoppard